


Baby, I Call Hell

by harleygirl2648



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, Demonic Possession, Gallows Humor, Humor, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Psychological Horror, i love Gary and I'm giving him character depth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-09-24 16:11:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17103809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harleygirl2648/pseuds/harleygirl2648
Summary: no you don't get this/if you don't treat me wellcause what you call love/baby I call hellSomething goes wrong during a routine magical creature roundup, but it wasn't quite an accident.And now Gary's trapped in the middle of two worlds, two sides, and two hearts.Well, maybe three.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AgentMaryMargaretSkitz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentMaryMargaretSkitz/gifts), [dametokillfor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dametokillfor/gifts), [FirenzeSun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FirenzeSun/gifts), [Rivulet027](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivulet027/gifts).



> WOW.
> 
> This is a longtime coming. This is a long fic, guys.
> 
> HUGE HUGE HUGE thanks to the lovely folks at the Constangreen server who have helped assemble the basic ideas and plot points of this fic and I could not have done it without you guys. I hope you enjoy all the craziness!
> 
> Also, please please read Kate's fic One Door Swinging Closed: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17074703 . Gives a teeny bit of context and it's all around beautiful.

Hellhounds in Brooklyn. Wow, that sounded like cool movie that a year ago, Gary would’ve found on Hulu when he had burned through two straight seasons of some TLC reality show and needed something REALLY mindless afterwards.

However, it wasn't a movie. There were real hellhounds, in Brooklyn NYC, and he had to go help his warlock ex-boyfriend _(no they weren’t - they weren’t even that, Gary)_ stop them from eating passersby on the street and breaking into old warehouses on the harbor. Great. A perfect Tuesday night. Couldn’t ask for anything better.

Charlie and Zari were there to help out as well, so it was impossibly more and less awkward than if it was just the two of them. He got the impression sometimes that they considered a mission with him a form of babysitting, and frankly, he was a little tired of it.

 

_“-gotta run, sorry,” John said all in a rush, shirt barely buttoned and coat tossed on without even an attempt to shake some of the wrinkles out. Gary couldn’t think of anything intelligent to say, not mention he still had his toothbrush in his mouth and hair still wet from the shower._

_Before he could even try and offer anything, John hadn’t finished speaking, “-balance between good and evil in the world, yeah? That’s - that's why this won’t work.”_

_Gary paused, taking the time to spit into the bathroom sink before standing in the doorway looking at John run fingers through messy blonde hair. “I - huh?”_

_“Look, lo-Gary, still like you, hell of a lot, yeah, but - can’t keep this going, you know?”_

 

“You listening, Gary?”

Gary blinked for a second, pushing his glasses back up his nose before nodding at Charlie. “Yeah, yeah. Scope out for the hellhound, spritz some asphodel essential oil to lure it out if there’s nothing. Got it.”

Please, let’s pair up. Wait, no, we don’t want to do that.

“Alright, be back here in ten, inform on the coms if you got a lead,” Zari said, picking up a flashlight and heading one way. John headed the opposite way. Charlie and Gary shared a look, then turned away from each other and ended up going their own separate ways.

It’s dark, it’s cold, and all he has is a flashlight and a spritzer bottle of flower juice, walking into corridor after corridor, alone with his thoughts.

_I forgot to call the landlord about the hot water heater again._ _Did I buy more lime yogurt when I was grocery shopping?_

_Never going to finish my April reports in time for the deadline._ _Should I splurge and finally adopt a cat so I don’t go home to an empty apartment every night? I mean, I tried with the fish tank but that’s not so much interaction-_

_(-listen, it’s over and he loves someone else that’s not you you moron so get over-)_

He stopped dead in his tracks at the opening to another hallway as soon as this - SMELL hit his nostrils. It was rotting meat, it was the bad stage of compost, it was unwrapping a bandage that hadn’t been changed in a good while. It was all of the above, and then underlying scent of old charcoal burning.

“Bingo,” he whispered to himself, and sure enough, there were two glowing eyes and the outlines of razor sharp teeth hiding in a back corner. He was already tapping in to his earpiece and stepping through the door frame. “Locker 3-E, on the west s-

_**SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH** _

What felt like a staticy dog whistle exploded in his eardrums as he stepped forward, loud enough he could feel the sound waves pushing his hair back an _d what is that smoke/liquid coming closer oh that’s what the eyes and teeth are attach-_

**BAM**

And everything went black as he fell backwards, grasping at nothing but the musty air.

When he was sprawled on dirty floor, looking up at a broken piece of the door frame dangling before him. He quickly checked his watch, it had only been about a minute.

_Wow, Gary. You literally don't look where you were going, and hit your head on the door. Wow. You **really** deserve that Time Agent badge, don’t you?_

“-where are you?”

John’s voice came in through his ear, and he scrambled, “Sorry, sorry, thought I saw-” he looked back at the corner, no sign of the hellhound at all. “...thought it was here.”

“Don’t worry, we got ‘im, next floor down from ya.”

“I’ll be there in two minutes,” Gary told him, already pushing the door to the stairwell open and heading down. God, it was hot down here.

Duh. Hellhound.

Charlie looked up at him as she clipped a leash to the collar of rosemary wrapped around its neck. “There you are.”

“Yeah, sorry, got - distracted,” he told them, keeping his smile on as he adjusted his hair, rubbing idly at the base of his skull. He must have hit it hard on the fall. He’d have to have that looked at at home.

John got his attention, giving him a tooth from the dog. “Here, Mona needs this so she can gain its trust, scent marking and all that.”

Charlie passed the leash to Gary and Gary nearly flinched at the idea of taking this massive dog the size of a black bear back to the Bureau, but the dog was surprisingly quiet and docile. It was the rosemary, it had calmed it in the first place. It was fine. He could handle this.

In actuality, he almost had a panic attack when it slipped out of the collar on the way down to the containment cell, and it started towards him. He didn’t know how he made the whistle that came out of his mouth, but he did, and it heeled at once. It didn't even need the collar to be walked back to the cell, it was perfectly behaved, even whitney at times for a scratched behind the sandpaper-textured furry ears. He got it in the cell, then let out a breath of relief, rubbing the base of his neck. That pain from earlier had migrated downwards.

Shower. Shower, and then - _food._ God, he was starving, how did he not realize this until _right now?_

The apartment was quiet except for the hum of the lightbulbs when Gary entered his apartment, as per usual. The pain was now spreading down his spine. He shook his head, changing out of his work clothes and hopping into the shower, pleasantly surprised that the hot water seemed to be working again. So he ran a bath, letting his eyes close as he tried to relax from the stress of the day. Spots swam behind his eyes, just little ones, and he found it hard to reopen them, trapped in that phase in between being awake and dreams.

The water was getting - _hotter._

He opened his eyes, looking down at the literal steaming water that seemed like it was frothing and boiling until he blinked and none of that was happening, but didn’t change the temperature of the water.

He’d turned the faucet off. He’d been in the bath - quick look at the digital clock in the bathroom - an _hour._ He quickly drained all the water and turned the shower to bone-chilling freezing in an attempt to cool off from the scorching heat of the bath.

Afterwards, he got dressed in his usual flannel and sweatpants, going into the kitchen and realizing again how much he was starving. He scanned through the fridge and the pantry, his eyes found the canned chicken liver pate from Paris his dad had given to him in a gift basket he sent a month ago, one of those 'gifts you'll need one day' that usually just collected dust.

Gary found himself wrenching the can open and grabbing a spoon from the drawer, settling on the couch and watching the news. He ate straight from the can, shoveling the food into his mouth so quickly it was a miracle he didn’t choke. And it was while he was drinking the leftover juice out of the can that he took note of the pain from before.

It wasn’t just in the base of his skull.

It wasn’t just in his neck.

It wasn’t just in his spine.

It was - everywhere. A dull heat throbbing and throbbing under his skin, like needles pushing up underneath hair follicles, making him feel itchy and tired. He threw the can towards the kitchen, landing it in the sink as he yawned, getting up after the act and heading towards his bedroom.

As Gary drifted off to sleep, his last thought was that his eyes did not drift closed. Instead, it was more like his eyelids were slowly, _slowly,_  being _pulled_ closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, please leave all the comments and kudos you like! I love responding to them!
> 
> Come visit me and find ways to send me love and support (and coffees!!!) on [Tumblr](http://somebodyhelpthenotdeadfreds.tumblr.com)!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's turn on the juice, and see what shakes loose.
> 
> ....Beetlejuice, anyone? I love my references.

When Gary woke up the next morning, he wasn’t sure if he had just had a dream or a nightmare. All he knew was that he was sweating, a lot. What a day for the shower to OVERHEAT the water, after being off-and-on for months. He quickly rinsed his face in cold water before getting dressed, and headed into the kitchen for breakfast. A usual breakfast, green juice and two eggs with toast.

He hummed to himself as he cracked eggs into a pan, his mind wandering as per usual. However, this morning, when he came back to himself, he found he was in the process of shoving pieces of egg into his mouth over the breakfast bar. Guess he burned a lot of calories the night before, fear tends to do that. When he checked the clock, he swore when he realized oh shit, I have to go right now. No time to blend juice. Damn it all to hell. He tossed the pan in the sink, letting it soak, and started to throw away the empty egg carton.

Wait a minute….he could’ve sworn that he’d had at FIVE eggs left in there.

Weird.

 

 

As per usual, Gary was too late to the break room to get the good K-Cup of French roast, so he had to settle for the 8’Clock roast instead. As he made coffee, he yawned, absently scratching the base of his neck. _That weird itch was back._ He added the butter to his coffee and sat back down at his desk, nodding at Nate.

“What's going on, Gary?” Nate asked, not looking up from his screen.

“Oh, not much,” Gary replied, taking a sip and typing away at his keyboard. “Recovery mission went well last night, my shower is finally going into hot water overdrive to make up for being terrible the last month. Oh! And I think I have an iron deficiency.”

“That's cool,” Nate said, eyes still on his report charts and the newsletter Ray sent every week. Gary got the message he was rambling, so he went back to his own work. All was quiet.

 

_**Gary.** _

 

“Yeah?” Gary said back, looking over his screen at Nate. Nate finally looked up, brow furrowing.

“What?”

“What do you mean, ‘what?’ You just said my name.”

“...no, I didn’t.”

Gary bit his lip, mouth tilting into a frown for a quick moment and then glancing around the office space. Nobody was even looking their way. “...I guess I was hearing things.”

Luckily, his confusion was replaced with delight as Mona wheeled her cart through the office space to get to the elevator. He waved good morning to her, and she waved back with her bright smile. “Thanks for bringing Arthur in last night.”

“Is that his name, now?”

“It’s what _I_ named him, better than Hellhound #1, after all.”

“That's true,” Gary agreed, getting up and helping her when she knocked a box off the top of the loaded cart and actually catching it before it fell to the floor. His stomach suddenly cramped like he was - hungry, like if he hadn’t eaten breakfast at all that day. He caught sight of what was in the box and had to look away before he became nauseated at the sight of pints of blood stacked neatly inside. For some reason, his stomach growled again after she walked away.

He clocked out to go on his lunch break and decided on the sushi place on the corner, buying up three entire tuna rolls and more than two pieces of nigiri, much more than his usual purchase. And it barely lasted twenty minutes once he sat back in the breakroom to eat it, and he tossed the trash away and headed back to his desk.

 

 

Nora looked up from her book when the hair on the back of her neck stood up. That took a lot for that to happen, after everything her childhood and Mallus had put her through. It was an _itch,_ the feeling of eyes looking at her, but when she turned in that direction, nothing was there.

Her eyes drifted up to the ceiling, then back down to her book.

 

 

By the time five o’clock rolled around, Gary was absolutely starving again. Lunch seemed a distant memory, and he had decided that a big dinner was what he needed. The headache he was getting was probably from hunger, he’d eat and it would stop. God, it felt like it was throbbing up under his back teeth.

He slipped out of the office and nobody said a word except a few half hearted goodbyes as he scanned his way out. As soon as his feet hit the pavement outside, he closed his eyes to adjust to the bright sunlight.

 

 

When he opened them again, he was slamming his apartment door closed behind him, making himself jump.

He blinked again, staring at the closed door and hearing his neighbor yelling at him to be quiet (like he could talk he was always being loud every other night) but all he could think was  “Huh?” which he spoke out loud into the darkness of his living room.

_Darkness._

Oh, it was DARK outside. Oh god, it was NINE O’CLOCK. He’d left work _four hours ago,_ planning to go grocery shopping, pick up his dry cleaning and some takeout. That hadn’t happened. Did it? He couldn’t remember. He wasn’t holding any bags or clothes or - or anything.

He blinked again and found himself now standing in front of his fridge, teeth sunk into the sliced lunchmeat he kept in the bottom drawer, the entire full package gone except for what was in his mouth. He swallowed shakily, rubbing his eyes with a free hand before feeling - wetness.

Looking down at his hands illuminated in the cold fluorescent light of his refrigerator, all he saw was _red._

Blood was all over his hands, up to his elbows. It was dried, faded, splattered against his white shirt and when his mouth dropped open in horror, he felt all the blood caked across his mouth, nose, and cheeks crack and drip as though still fresh.

“Oh - oh my god, oh my god, oh my _god,”_ he panicked, his breath speeding up as he stumbled away from the fridge, letting it close as he scrambled for the bathroom. He got inside and proceeded to hurl into the toilet, gagging, coughing, hyperventilating, but nothing came up. Shaking, he took all of his clothes and tossed them into the corner, getting in the shower and turning the hot water on. He pressed his forehead to the cool tile, eyes squeezed closed, and let out a breath, sniffling once before trying one of those breathing exercises.

_One. Two. Three. **Inhale.**_

_One. Two. Three. **EXHALE.**_

His eyes flew open, looking down at his hand twisted around the hot water nozzle, and watched as he twisted it to increase the heat even more.

He didn’t want hotter water. He couldn't take his hand off the nozzle.

The water got hotter.

And hotter.

And _hotter._

Steam was billowing out from the bottom of the tub. It _hissed_ as it hit his skin, skin twisting into angry red blisters. He shrieked, digging his nails in and around these points on his skin, trying to scrub away the marks in sheer panic when he had to blink again.

When Gary’s eyes opened again after that, the water was reasonably warm, and his skin was unbroken and smooth. He blinked over and over and over again, until the water ran ice cold, but he knew - he KNEW something had just happened. That it was _still_ happening.

He was shivering as he got out of the shower on wobbly legs. It was an effort to crawl into pajama pants and collapse onto the bed, covering his head with his comforter.

The pain was back, running through every part of him. Every muscle being stretched, worked, then relaxed. There was a buzz inside his head, whispers echoing around but too fast for him to understand. It was too much. He’d never get to sleep tonight.

“What’s happening to me?” Gary whispered to no one, curling up impossibly tighter, shaking even more.

His eyes shot wide open as he felt pressure like a strong grip on his shoulder, too warm like the shower water, like his blood pumping loud in his veins.

'No one' answered _back,_ right into his ear:

_**“I am.”** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, please leave all the comments and kudos you like! I love responding to them!
> 
> Come visit me and find ways to send me love and support (and coffees!!!) on [Tumblr](http://somebodyhelpthenotdeadfreds.tumblr.com)!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There is something at work in my soul, which I do not understand.”   
> ― Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, Frankenstein

Gary doesn’t sleep that night at all. It’s too scary to even consider the notion, to consider closing his eyes and then not knowing what would happen when he dropped them. Sometimes, even with the all the lights on in his room, darkness swirls around his wide-open eyes, magnified dark pools behind his glasses as he stares at himself in the mirror, and sometimes, doesn’t recognize himself when he stares back. **  
**

Exhaustion gnaws at him in the morning, along with the ever present ache that ebbs and flows through his veins. He’s too tired to knot his tie tightly, too tired to shave (again), too tired to care that he’s eating raw, frozen ground beef from his freezer. Maybe he’s too tired to taste, too, because it doesn't taste like anything.

And frankly, he’s too - too goddamn tired of _everything_ when he finally gets to the Bureau breakroom and McNeil has the last French roast K-cup again. McNeil’s laugh is like nails scraping at his frontal lobe. Maybe that’s just his constant migraine.

“Sorry, Green, too slow,” McNeil teases, laughing again, and Gary feels - something creep up his spine, his throat, and out of his mouth.

Gary is two inches taller than McNeil when standing ramrod straight, and McNeil’s laugh stops when Gary’s neck tilts down so he’s looking right down his nose at him, and when he steps closer - the fluorescents glint off of his glasses, but no light reflects in his eyes at all. His hand comes down on McNeil’s mug, and his mouth is in a straight line, curled slightly downwards in the corners.

“You touch my coffee again,” Gary’s voice is too smooth, too calm, menace barely restrained under his tongue, _**“I’ll pull your lungs out through your throat.”**_

When he lifts the coffee cup to his lips and takes a sip, he blinks. Blinds again, looks at McNeil, and let out a high-pitched nervous giggle as his brain suddenly came back from - zoning out, feeling his lips move without him moving them and hearing his voice say words that he didn’t say.

“Oh - y-you know me, McNeil,” he laughed again, trying to be light, “Not the same without my morning coffee!”

He hurried out of the break room and sat down at his desk, typing away at the keyboard and feeling his eyeballs itch. How - how was that even POSSIBLE.

_**Because you’re ignoring me.** _

Gary’s fingers stilled, typing out three lines of ‘ffffff’ before he pulled himself together enough to acknowledge that THAT just happened.

“I’m - not - doing that right now,” he muttered, backspacing those three lines.

_**I’m annoyed.** _

“This is - this is not happening.”

_**It is. You’re tough to crack, I’ve been wearing you down for days and you still. won’t. break.** _

“Maybe - maybe you could have talked, first? Then - then we could w-work this o-”

“Did you say something?” Nate said, looking up over his screen at Gary. “You were talking.”

“Just - just talking to myself, it’s fine.” Gary wiped his face when he started sweating, then speaking softer, “Hey, what - what do you want?”

_**You.** _

“....I don’t - listen, whatever you want, I’m not worth it. Stop.”

 _ **Nooooo,**_ cackled a voice rolling around inside of his head, and Gary’s treacherous eyes closed to blink.

When they reopened, he found himself in the never-used bathroom on the third basement floor, sprawled on the floor of the handicap stall, laying against the cool tile on the floor. His right hand was wet, so he looked down at it, and found his hand was clutching an empty pint of blood, the residue dripping down over his fingers. He covered his mouth in horror, only to smear the blood dotting his lips even more.

“Ugh, that’s disgusting,” he muttered, shakily getting to his feet and burying the empty pint of blood under a pile of paper towels in the trash can. He started rubbing his hands, sticking his face under the faucet and breathing hard.

When he pulled himself back up to look in the mirror, his reflection staring back turned his head the opposite way, and Gary hid a shriek behind his hand before doing a quick breathing exercise. With one finally breath, he stated calmly, “Who are you?”

_**I dwell within.** _

“...listen, if you’re going to inhabit my body, I’m - I’m going to need a name, please.”

The voice is quiet, before a careful _**“...Jakobius.”**_

Gary took another breath. “I’m - I’m not going to say that whole name every time we talk, I’m going to call you Jake. Is - is that okay?”

A pause. _ **I suppose.**_

“Cool. Cool, cool. So - I’d like to go back to work, please.”

_**No. Boring.** _

“Then - what do you want it do?”

_**Leave.** _

“...I guess I could talk with Ava about leaving early today.”

_**Hate her. Do that.** _

“Why - why don’t you like her? She’s great!”

_**Rude to us.** _

“She’s just abrupt, she’s very caring,” Gary told the mirror as he scrubbed off blood from his lips. “You need to respect that.”

_**Fuck respect.** _

“Hey! No.” It sounded like he was scolding a dog, honestly, as he walked out of the bathroom and into the elevator. “She’s my boss and my friend, respect that.”

_**I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do.** _

“You’re using my body, you have to.”

_**I don’t need your permission, I’ll do what I want with it.** _

Gary swallowed hard, pressing the button for his floor. “N-no, you’re going to listen to me.”

_**No, I’m not. I control us right now. You have no power over me.** _

“Well, I think n-” Gary started to say, having stepped out of the elevator and not looking where he was going, and of course, the universe has actually conspired against him so that he collides with his ex b- _(they’re not exes, stop thinking that)_

“Sorry,” Gary apologized to John before the man could even open his mouth. He ran a hand down the side of his face as John started talking to him, something about not looking where he was going, Gary, lo- squire, hey are you alr-

There’s bile in Garry's throat and invisible claws in his temples and too much whispering and hissing in his ear, so he doesn't think much past ducking into the nearest room and vomiting into the wastebasket resting beside the door. He coughed weakly afterwards, looking up and realizing that if today couldn't be worse, he’s just interrupted Ava and Nate’s meeting with Mr. Heywood.

In - in Ava’s office.

Her eyes were wide open, but lips pressed into a thin line, like she’s three seconds away from yelling at him, losing her temper. So he stood up from where he was kneeling on the floor, practically hugging the wastebasket to his chest, eyes still a little watery from the force of the expulsion. “S-sorry, boss. I - I’m - I’m sick, so I-”

“Gary,” Ava exhaled, eyes closing as if she was making a plea to give her strength. “Just go home, please.”

Gary got the hint, avoiding all eye contact and especially any sign of John, not looking up forward until he had locked himself in another bathroom, disposing of the lining in the basket. He glared at his reflection. It glared back, then winked.

“Why would you do that?” he asked himself.

_**Because.** _

“Can I get a real reason?”

_**Constantine.** _

“...why does he- don’t answer that, I can guess. Did, he, like, try to exorcise you at some point?”

_**No. He is...known. By us. By - I can’t say.** _

“You can’t say?”

_**No. Not to you.** _

“Listen, if you’re going to stick around, we’re going to have to share things with each other.”

_**No point. I already know you.** _

“No, you don’t, you just - live in my brain.”

_**I exist everywhere. I know everything about you.** _

“Sure, I - I doubt that.”

_**You don’t like blueberries, you watch the news every night at 7, you haven’t called your father in three weeks, you never wear your contacts because they irritate your eyes, occasionally you think about Constantine in your bedroom-** _

“NO, I don’t, I don’t,” Gary hissed, a wet paper towel pressed against his left eye to bring the redness down.

_**Uh, yeah, you do. Sometimes during stupid meetings.** _

“Wha- no!”

_**It’s disgusting.** _

“...I’ve been eating raw meat and drinking COW BLOOD for DAYS, and - and THAT bothers you?!”

_**Yes! It’s Constantine!** _

“Look, I - I don’t want to get into that, it’s - it doesn’t matter,” Gary stated firmly. “None - none of that matters. I’m - I’m going home for now.”

_**Yes, good, do that.** _

“And we’re going to talk.”

_**Ugh. Why?** _

Gary made his way out of the building without anyone really noticing, stepping out onto the sidewalk. “I’ll get food, we’ll talk at my place, you tell me about yourself. Then we’re even.”

_**Why do we need to be even?** _

“To - be on more - friendly terms? So - we can work this out peacefully?”

_**….ew.** _

Gary hid a genuine laugh behind a hand, ignoring the strange look from McNeil as he left on his lunch break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, please leave all the comments and kudos you like! I love responding to them!
> 
> Come visit me and find ways to send me love and support (and coffees!!!) on [Tumblr](http://somebodyhelpthenotdeadfreds.tumblr.com)!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This is all it takes for people to plunge into insanity: one night alone with themselves and what they fear the most.”   
> ― Thomas Olde Heuvelt, Hex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry about the delay! Had an internship that ate up my time. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

It was probably for the best that Gary had invested in an earpiece beforehand, because he looked slightly less crazy talking to himself in this coffeeshop on April the 6th in 2019. Concrete facts, focus on those, Gary. “So - should I introduce myself?”

_I already told you, I know everything about you._

“And - how long are you going to stay with me, yeah, that’s how to put this.”

_Until I decide I’m finished._

“...cool,” Gary sighed, getting up and throwing away his coffee cup, walking out and blinking at the bright sunlight. “Oh, hey, sooo - I’ve blacked out more than once since you've been inside me- that doesn’t sound right. Uh, since you’ve been - here.”

_Yes. I orchestrated that._

“Why?”

_Reasons._

“...that doesn't answer my question. What - what happened when I blacked out for four hours and came back home - a mess?”

_That is for me to know._

“Listen, we share this body right now, so you're going to have to tell me things. It’s not fair I can’t read your mind but you can read mine.”

_Tough luck._

Gary sighed as he walked down to a deil not far from his apartment complex, doing his weekly shopping. “So - you were in the warehouse, a few days ago. That was you.”

_Correct._

“You know - you could have asked, first? Maybe? We could have worked something out.”

A scoff came from the back of his mind and snuck out of his throat, then he cleared it a few times when the woman in line next to him gave him an odd look.

_Please, I don’t ask._

“I would prefer if you asked,” Gary said into his earpiece and to himself as he stepped back into the sidewalk and made his way to his building. “That way, I can, like, process things.”

_You really don’t understand how demonic possession works, do you?_

“Oh, I understand it fine, I’ve - read a lot of books.”

_And **Constantine** told-_

“Okay, we’re not bringing any of that up, nope,” Gary said far too loudly in his elevator, getting out on his floor and opening his apartment door, putting away his groceries and enjoying brief moment of peace before it was shattered again.

_I can help you._

“Really don’t think I need that kind of help,” Gary murmured as he loaded up his dishwasher

_Yeah, sure, I can give you what you want._

“I - doubt that, really.”

Can I prove it to you? All I need is a day.

Gary laughed shaking his head as he sat on the couch, putting his feet up. "You know what? Sure.. You get one day to prove it." His head fell back against the cushions and-

-and then he was _waking up._

He blinked, sitting up in his bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and fumbling for his glasses before looking around and taking in his surroundings. He was in bed, he’d just woken up at his usual time of 7:30 AM, his laundry was done, the plumbing wasn’t making that creaky sound for once, and _the blonde man asleep in bed next to him_  that was NOT there last night.

Gary nearly tripped out of bed, mind racing as he went into the bathroom, trying to piece together what had happened the night before, and finding no memory of it whatsoever. After establishing that fact with himself, he showered, dressed, and opened a portal back to work before John woke up.

Gradually, he shook off the thoughts of the morning away, stepping into the office and being greeted by Ava almost as soon as he had signed in. Oh no, he thought, I screwed up on my files again.

“Hey, Gary,” Ava smiled, like - _really_ smiled, not a fake pleasant one she used to save face when she really just wanted to scream.

“Uh - hey- good morning, Director Sharpe,” he addressed her, smiling back. “What’s - up?”

“Oh, great news, work order FINALLY went through, so your office is all set up. I figured I should let you clean out your desk yourself.”

Gary’s brain could not connect the dots. “So - wait, what?” he stammered as they headed into the office, Ava’s hand resting on his shoulder all casual like she usually wasn’t. As they kept walking, people made a point to stop and wave to Gary, stop and say hello, and Gary was - confused, still processing as Ava opened the door to the office next to hers and tossed him the key.

“Here you go, it’s all set up, just gotta move your stuff in.”

“But - why?” he asked again, still lost. Ava laughed.

“Yeah, you’re going to pretend like you don’t deserve your own office, you’ve had the best record for months, Gary.”

Gary entered the office space, looking around at an office the size of Ava’s, and still couldn’t - believe it, even as he was smiling. “Well - thank you!” He smiled even more at the Employee of the Month plaque on the wall.

The day was - _incredible,_ with everyone from Nate to Mona, to McNeil and Mr. Heywood congratulating him on his accomplishments, adn savoring the quiet space of having his own office away from all the usual hustle and bustle. Even when he ended up on the Waverider for a debriefing, everyone was - glad to see him asked his opinion on everything. Even Captain Lance was genuinely nice, not in a way that made him think she was thinking about potentially stabbing him. And after the debriefing, it was - _nice,_ to just sit back and relax, kicking his feet up onto his new desk adn typing out his report on his laptop when there was a knock on the door.

“Come on,” he called out, words muffled around the pen cap in his mouth, and nearly choked on it when John Constantine walked into his office with the usual swagger Gary had pointedly been trying to ignore for the past two weeks. God, _and_ he was smirking, this was _completely unfair._

“Figured you’d be clockin’ out about now, squire.”

Gary cleared his throat, clearing it again when his answer died in his mouth as John sat-or really-leaned against the inside of Gary’s desk. “I - always work late on Thursdays,” Gary offered, as casual as a tone as he could possibly muster.

John laughed, an easy kind of happiness on his face that Gary had seen maybe twice, total. “Pretty rude, duckin’ out early this morning, squire,” he grinned, taking the laptop out of his lap and setting it to the side of the desk.

“Hey, uh, what are you-” Gary started, before nearly letting out an honest-to-God _squeak_ as John sat right in his lap, getting the chair to lean back before his lips were against his ear with that same smile.

“Just wanted to give ya a reason to come home early,” he hummed, before ducking his head down and stealing Gary’s breath away in a kiss.

Once the initial shock wore off, Gary found himself melting back into the kiss, returning it in kind as he slid a hand inot John’s messy hair, the other hand resting on the underside of his thigh, keeping him from losing his balance in his lap. John’s hands were moving a lot of places a lot faster than Gary’s brain could keep up with, his head spinning with heat and cigarette ash.

Wow, this was - everything, and yet not nearly enough at the same-

“I love you,” John smiled against his lips, and Gary was suddenly aware of his cold sweat dripping down his back. So cold, that he simply - froze.

_Sudden chills mean someone just walked across your grave._

“Hey, Gary, love, what's wr-”

“Stop, please - please stop,” Gary whispered brokenly, and felt like he just paused a movie. The clock stopped ticking on the wall, the sweat drops were frozen to his back, and John’s heart wasn’t beating.

The only thing that was moving was Gary’s own heartbeat, faster and faster and faster an _d faster and oh god it’s so hot, it’s burning, the entire room feels like it’s one fire, it’s in his veins and in his mind and under his nails it’s everywhere it’s everywhere-_

Gary pushed all of the air from his lungs out of his mouth in a wheeze, falling out of his couch where he had been tangled in the blankets. He didn’t stop breathing hard for five straight minutes, and tried to take stock of the situation after his heart slowed to its normal speed.

It’s 6:28 PM. He’s thirsty, he’s hungry, and he really, _really_ has to pee.

So he went to the bathroom, and after while he was washing his face and hands in the sink, he catches sight of the clock in the bedroom from the open door.

6:31 PM.

April 7.

Wait. N-no.

He was - that can't be right, it was the **ENTIRE NEXT EVENING,** he’d - he’d missed an _entire day_ _of his life_ , and suddenly was scrambling for his phone.

_Oh god, I never called in, everyone's worried, I need to-_

There were only four notifications on his phone: an email for his Amazon package shipping, his lives had reset on one of his app games, a reminder to get his dry cleaning today, and a voicemail from Ava. He opened the message:

_Gary, it’s Director Sharpe. If you’re going to miss work you need to call ahead. Call when you have a doctor's note or it’s a personal day. Goodbye._

He stared at the phone in his hand after listening to the brief 15 second message three straight times.

Four notifications.

One - _**one**_ \- was a call from someone in his life.

The phone slipped from his hand onto the hideous carpet that had been in the apartment when he moved in, and Gary himself fell onto the couch, burying his face in a free-with-$50 purchase pillow from Michael’s and screaming into it for seven full, unbroken seconds before the faucets opened behind his eyes and he cried.

His stomach churned, his throat burned, and there was a dull ache in every part of him.

Then Jake’s voice was back, after he had cried for ten minutes. It has an - awkward tone, instead of the usual attempts at being authoritative.

_Humans don’t break out of their wildest fantasies easily. I’ve seen countless ones succumb to them forever._

“Good for them.”

_I - I can give you all of that! I **WAS** giving you all of that! Why did you-_

“It’s not real,” Gary spat bitterly, rubbing his eyes and sitting up on the couch, crying again. “Don’t sell me on lies.”

_I’m a - demon, Gary._

“I don’t care.”

…okay.

Gary let out a shuddering breath before forcing himself to pull it together. “Fine.”

_Fine, what?_

“We can - share - me, I guess. I’m not giving you complete control but I don’t have a way to get - rid of you. Is that fair?”

_...nobody’s - willingly offered me control, before._

“So - what does that mean?”

 _It - I don’t know._ Jake sounded so confused that it made Gary laugh, a broken one, but a laugh.

“Of course, I can’t even get possessed properly.”

_Shut up, I - we did that, it’s just - I guess it’s more like a - partnership? I hate that, I really hate it._

“Either take it or leave it.”

 _Order food and I’ll think about it,_ Jake muttered, the vibrations of the voice rattling the bones behind Gary's eyes. Gary shook his head, but smiled as he picked up the phone to order.

_You didn’t answer my question._

“What question?”

_What made you break out of-_

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Gary told himself and Jake firmly. “I’m getting beef and broccoli, I don’t remember the last time I ate a vegetable.”

Disgusting.

Gary smiled a little more as the phone rang, and he turned the TV to one of his favorite sitcoms to get his mind off of - this week.

 

 

 

 

_Two weeks ago_

 

 

 

 

_3:17 AM. Like hell if Gary was getting back to sleep._

_First, John had showed up late Friday night, already half drunk and there from a cab since he didn’t feel like going to the Waverider. And Gary’d just given him some tea and turned the TV down, wanting to give him attention. Sure, they broke up a while back but they were friends, they still hung out, and he wasn’t just going to let him mope on the couch for-_

_Two rough, calloused hands cupped the sides of Gary’s face, bringing him down into a kiss that had no softness and tasted like whiskey. He didn’t let up, and Gary didn’t have time to consider pulling away until they were running out of air and John abruptly pulled away, his hands drifting down to Gary’s shoulders, squeezing them tight._

_His words are as rough as the kiss, “Promise m’ somethin’, a’ight, Gary?”_

_“I - sure,” Gary stammered, lost in the sadness hidden behind the steel in John’s eyes, before it faded away into nothing but sternness. Well, as stern as one could be drunk._

_“Gary, don’ - don’t you ever, ever love me.”_

_It stung, those words, and the knife twisted in deeper when John added, trying not to slur and falling, “I ca- I won’ say it b’ck.”_

_Gary swallows, nodding once and hoping he can’t hear the thickness of his words, “O-okay.”_

_John squeezed his shoulders again, leaning up and kissing him again and - and maybe it’s what he needs or this is all it’s ever going to be for him but - but it’s so confusing and it’s late and he’s so tired and - “John, I think you need to - to sleep this off, okay?”_

_He’s gentle as he moves John’s hands from his shoulders, and gets up to leave when John grabs his hand again, pulling to get him to stay there with him._

_And god, he wants to stay, stay in the lie for the rest of the night, for the rest of his life._

_“Goodnight, John,” Gary says softly, pulling his hand away with the gentlest motion, and goes to bed in his room. He doesn’t sleep._

 

_The night is never mentioned again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, please leave all the comments and kudos you like! I love responding to them!
> 
> Come visit me and find ways to send me love and support (and coffees!!!) on [Tumblr](http://somebodyhelpthenotdeadfreds.tumblr.com)!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I think I want to be in love with you but I don't know how.”   
> ― Angela Carter, The Magic Toyshop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! Going to try and get back into pumping out more chapters at a steadier pace.

“Constantine, are you even listening?”

“Sorry, pet, wasn’t,” John told Ava without a hint of apology in his voice as he lounged across a chair on the bridge.  She rolled her eyes in his direction, before continuing her spiel about some mission they had coming up soon, along with notes on their last capture. And frankly, John couldn’t care less about this, sliding a cigarette between his lips and lighting it. He was bored, he decided as he breathed out the smoke, his eyes absently scanning the room.

Something was missi- _Gary._

Gary usually tagged along with Ava on these lectures, usually taking notes for her and occasionally stuck around long enough to be convinced to stay behind for a while.

His mind drifted back to yesterday, bumping into Gary who had then practically sprinted away from him and hurled into Sharpie’s bin, then darting to the bathroom. He took a few thoughtful drags, thinking on this, and then approached Ava after she was done talking.

“Hey, where’s Gary?” he asked in a voice that sounded casual to _him,_ at least. Ava looked like she could see through him.

“I don’t know,” she said, irritated. “I told him to call if he was going to be late, now he hasn’t shown up all day, I had to rearrange his hours.”

 

_Gary’s laugh definitely sounded cool and smooth and not adorably dorky or squeaky as John’s arm lazily wrapped around his waist and pulled him back into the sheets. “John, seriously, I - have to go to work, I’ll be late.”_

_“Got a bloody Time courier, love, got literally all the time in the world,” John smirked against his neck, unable to hide a smile as Gary laughed again, twisting around so that he could face John. His grin stretched wide like always as he looked at John, glasses askew on his face, moving closer to kiss him,_

_“I guess I can be late again.”_

 

“...and I don’t know why he hasn’t called in, I’ll talk to him in the morning about it,” Ava finished, apparently having been talking for the past five minutes, and he hadn’t even registered a word of it. So he just nodded, turning away and taking another drag on his cigarette as he headed off.

 

 

John could tell Gary was at home (there was no reason he wouldn’t be, _relax,_ Johnny) from the Queen Pandora station he could hear as he walked down the hallway to his apartment from the elevator. When he got to the door, he knocked once, then twice to be heard over the music.

Finally, the door opened, and he heard Gary’s voice before he saw his face, talking a hundred miles a minute about forgetting his wallet in the other room, he _thought they’d call when the order was being delivered, give me a second to calculate the tip, nice rain we’ve been hav-_

Gary cut off his own rambling when he looked up at John, and John only caught a fleeting glimpse of his surprised face before the door suddenly was slammed in his face.

Well.

John stood there at the door, blinking for a few seconds and hearing movements in the apartment. Seeing as he was never one to take a hint, he raised his fist to knock on the door again when it swung open again, Gary wiping his face with the sleeve of the hoodie he was wearing. “Sorry, it’s - it’s a mess, here, _I’m_ a mess, the - I haven't cleaned my living room in days, sorry.”

John finally had a good look at Gary.

The usual wide smile was still present on his face, but now he looked exhausted, there were dark circles under his eyes, he gently rubbed at one of them. “So - uh, how can - how can I help?” he asked around a yawn.

John’s mind emptied for a moment before he focused back on the topic at hand, leaning up against the doorframe. “Well, still don’t have that phone, darling.”

Gary gave a small laugh and the faintest hint of a blush before coughing, then composing himself again. “I - yeah, you - you don’t, you - should get on that. Why - are you here, though?”

“Weren’t at the meeting today, hell of a drag, by the way.”

Gary winced, pinching the bridge of his nose. “That- that was _today,_ shoot, sh- damn it, _damn it._ I - completely forgot, I’ll - I’ll be in early to apologize to Director Sharpe tomorrow, I should-”

“Hey, hey, breathe, squire, don’t start spirli-” John interrupted, then wrinkled his nose when a smell hit his nostrils, “-is something burning?”

Gary’s eyes went saucer-wide for a brief moment before relaxing again. “Oh - it’s the heating system, it’s old dust burning, no problem. You, uh, can let Director Sharpe know-”

“I’m not here because Sharpie’s using me as an errand boy, Gary,” John told him, adjusting his position from where was bracing himself against the doorframe by his left arm, leaning closer towards Gary. He was ready with a teasing remark, an easy quip and then he’d be gone the same way he came, but his mind betrayed him, and he ended up telling him in a gentler tone, “I came to see if you’re alright, darling.”

At that, Gary’s mouth dropped open just a little before he closed it again, the smile on his face mirrored in his eyes as he murmured, “I - you - you came to - to see if I was _okay?”_

“...’course, dar- squire, we’re - we’re friends, yeah?” John ventured, “You alright?”

Gary’s smile faded a little, his eyes staring at something over John’s shoulder before meeting his eyes again. Even when he’s looking at him, he doesn’t seem all the way there. “No,” Gary whispered, barely speaking above that low tone. “I - I _don’t_ feel alright.”

“What-”

“I’m - I’m sick, I haven't been able to sleep because of - a fever. And an iron deficiency, so - just a whole cocktail of problems. Nothing more different than usual,” he laughed, but it sounded so - hollow. “So, um, I’m - I’m fine, yeah, don’t worry.”

John reached out to brush damp hair from Gary’s forehead, his skin warmer to the touch than usual. Their eyes met and Gary moved even closer, the small smile still there and growing wider the closer they moved towards each other, before suddenly pulling away from John to lean behind him. “Keep the change.”

The glare John sent the the delivery man could have cut through diamond as he hurried off with a quick thank-you. Gary twisted and untwisted the plastic bag handles, scratching at the base of his neck. “I - need to eat, blood sugar low.”

“I can-”

“And sleep,” Gary added, his words tripping over themselves, “to, uh, recover, because gotta head in tomorrow, I already missed-”

“Rest, love, you need it,” John told him, cracking a smile, and Gary’s own smile was back.

“Thank - thank you, for - stopping by,” he said as an afterthought, his fingers just barely brushed against John’s before he was back in his apartment, and John had nodded a goodbye and the door closed between them. He shook his head, sticking a cigarette in his mouth again with a sigh. A part of him wanted to open the door, accept the unspoken invitation to come inside.

But he couldn't. He wouldn’t let himself start this again, he reminded himself as he started back down the hallway.

He reasoned the sulfur smell he’d noticed by the door was due to takeout or his fucked-up sinuses. Bloody cigs.

 

 

“I’d appreciate if you didn't yank on my vocal chords to get my attention,” Gary told himself as he opened a carton of beef and broccoli.

_I don’t like Constantine, I told you that. Except, you do, and you could have brought him in here. I’ll kill him after you f-_

“Uh - no, no, that’s - that’s a terrible idea for so many reasons. But for now, I’ll just say that I can’t let him in here when there are old meat wrappings underneath my couch."

 _Loser_.

“I know.”

A sharp pinch behind his eye made him flinch. _Only I say that._

“Hmm,” Gary hummed, distracted by changing the channel to a favorite sitcom. Jake was quiet for awhile with food, before his voice shattered his thoughts.

_Why don’t the other idiotic humans kill this ‘Boyle’ if they are irritated by his presence?_

“Because they’re all friends. Even - even if friends are annoying sometimes, you have to - respect them, treat them the same."

 _Ugh_.

“Hey, we’re friends, don’t be like that.”

_It would be simpler to kill him._

“It would be simpler to kill _me_ ,” Gary fired back. “And yet, you haven’t - yet.”

_I said I wasn’t going to kill you._

“I don’t believe you yet.”

_You don’t have to believe in me. I exist whether you want it or not._

Gary nodded, cracking open a Sprite can. “I guess so. Remember, you use my body when I tell you that you can.”

The sound of scowling tickled at the back of his skull, and for some twisted reason, Gary just laughed at the feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, please leave all the comments and kudos you like! I love responding to them!
> 
> Come visit me and find ways to send me love and support (and coffees!!!) on [Tumblr](http://somebodyhelpthenotdeadfreds.tumblr.com)!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The demon is a liar. He will lie to confuse us; but he will also mix lies with the truth to attack us. His attack is psychological, Damien. And powerful.”  
> ― William Peter Blatty, The Exorcist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay! update is here! next chapter should be up VERY soon, we are RAMPING up the tension up in here!

Two weeks had passed since Gary first heard a voice that was not his from inside of his own head.

Gary had done a lot of reading in this time, on everything possession related that he could get his hands on. He hadn’t found a case like his, even in the books John had leant him and not asked for back. Hell, he couldn’t find a possession case that had lasted longer than _ten_ days before the affected person was either dead or released from the demon's grasp. So when day fourteen rolled past, Gary asked his reflection after brushing his teeth, “Are you going to kill me?”

_**I said no two days ago.** _

“Have you changed your mind since then?”

_**No.** _

Gary shrugged, spitting into the sink and then getting dressed for work. “You’re so weird. Behave today, I have a lot to finish today.”

_**Boring.** _

“I know. But, it should be a quick shift, I get off at 5 today. Nothing should come up, then we can relax back here,” Gary told the voice in his head, opening his fridge and pouring blood from the deli into a tall Thermos. A sound like a growl scratched the back of his skull, but he too used to this at this point. So Gary didn’t really care as he portaled his way to work and sat at his desk with his Thermos.

Nate nodded at him over his computer screen. “Bringing your own stuff to work, nice. What kind of blend?”

“Oh, you know,” Gary shrugged, burning the Thermos to his lips. “It’s just some weird blend Dad sent from Hawaii.”

Nate was looking away as Gary sat it back down, wiping the streaks of red from his lips and tasting rich iron dripping down the back of his throat. He had a sip of water and got back to work.

For the most part, the day was quiet. Gary felt productive, his blood pumping nice and steady and there were nothing but soft rumbles in his frontal lobe. Okay, great, the Thermos idea was working. He was sated, he wasn’t going to ask to go out tonight. That was priority number one, no more blacking out and randomly reappearing covered in blood. He ate some leftover beef stir-fry at his desk for lunch, and looked up when he saw the Legends entering the office and heading towards Director Sharpe’s office.

….where the meeting with Mr. Heywood was going on. _Shoot._

Gary scrambled up from his desk, doing a half-jog alongside the Legends. “Hey guys! Sorry, Director Sharpe’s busy right-”

“Gary, can you let us in, there’s some sort of hellcat causing trouble during the Elizabethan era and we really need the clearance to head out,” Ray asked/told Gary, only to be interrupted by Sara.

“Actually, we don’t need clearance, but I don’t want to deal with the paperwork again,” she said, moving past him. No, this couldn't happen, Director Sharpe had said absolutely nobody can interrupt the funding meeting.

“I’m sorry,” he winced. “I really wish I could help, but she said-”

“Mick.”

 _Oh, no, no, no, not **AGAIN,**_ Gary’s mind raced, scrunching his face up and bracing for a rough hand to grab him and throw him against the wall until he gave up some information and could wiggle away.

Except - that didn’t happen.

He saw Mick’s hand coming towards him, and he saw his own hand move faster, grabbing Mick’s collar and lifting him off the ground, shoving him up against the wall, and felt the words fall out of his mouth like loose baby teeth: “I said to **_wait.”_**

Even Mick’s eyes looked shocked and confused, as Gary blinked and felt what he was doing, really saw what was happening. He quickly dropped him, laughing nervously like always.

“I - yeah, wild, right? I’ve been working out, finally paying off. I mean, I really hate the weights, I prefer doing the bike, but recently I’ve been getting into classes where - DIRECTOR SHARPE, hi!” Gary smiled a little too widely when Ava opened the door to her office, waving awkwardly at her. “Well, my work’s done here, gotta get back to filing. Bye, later, adios.”

He turned on his heel, heading back down the hallway to his office, but then ducked inot the breakroom, glaring at his reflection in the fridge door until it rolled its eyes.

“Don’t you roll your eyes at me,” he hissed. “What - what was that?”

_**Just some fun.** _

“No! Don’t do that, it’s not fun.”

_**Those bitches were fucking with you! I’m not going to be sl- I’m not having US get slapped around by some assh-** _

“Okay, no, shhhh, they're our friends, and you can’t slap our FRIENDS around.”

He heard Jake snarl in his ear as he left the kitchen, so he rolled his eyes and leaned back in his desk chair, spinning around once to clear his head and letting out a sigh. He turned around in his chair, and smoothed his hand along the side of his armrest, and then watched as McNeil’s chair abruptly shot backwards and he fell out of his chair. Out of shocked curiosity, he fanned his fingers out and a light fizzled out in the hallway, then another, and one was flickering before he clenched his fingers into a fist. Jerking back in his own chair, he stared at the coffee cup at the nearby desk, focused on it, and took a deep breath.

It jumped off the desk and landed at his feet, and he nearly screamed.

Gary clapped a hand over his mouth and stared into the screen of his computer. His heart raced, blood pumping loud in his ears as his hands shook.

**_See?_ **

“Shut up,” he muttered, typing furiously at his keyboard.

_**Listen, come on, give me the reins. Look what I can do without even trying. You don’t know the half of what I can do.** _

“I don’t care, I told you to stay quiet today.”

 

**_You'll have more power around here if they're all a little scared of you._ **

"Don't - stop talking like that," Gary blushed, feeling suddenly sick to his stomach.

 ** _We can have some real fun,_** Jake snickered, so loud in Gary's ear it almost throbbed.

 

“No!” Gary said a little louder than he probably should have, and heard a snort behind him.

“Sorry, squire, didn’t realize you were busy.”

Gary decided Jake wasn’t all bad, as he was physically holding back his blush for him as he spun around in his chair to face John. He tapped at his armrest. “Uh - hey, sorry. You know how - work goes.”

“It’s alright, love,” John smiled, moving to lean against Gary’s desk.

Gary couldn’t hide a smile, picking up his Thermos. “You’re late for the meeting.”

“Eh, don’t care about that, had a smoke instead.” Gary nodded at that, taking a long drink and nearly coughed up blood when John asked far too casually for his tastes, “You free tonight?”

Claws were seemingly dragging across the inside of his skull and Gary forced himself to ignore it in favor of smiling back at John. “I - I didn’t have plans, no. Just probably going to the Chinese buffet near my place.”

“With the cheap drinks on Wednesdays? Think I’ll join ya. 7 sound good?” John grinned. Gary couldn't hold back a wider smile.

“That sounds great,” Gary nodded, feeling his spirits lift when that crinkly, crooked smile appeared on John’s face. _God, this was it, this was easy, this was like when they were both on equal footing like before-_

That was, until, he felt something drip out of his nose and John’s mouth turned back down into a frown. “You alright, love?”

Gary touched his nostril and looked at his hand, only to see blood smeared on his fingertips. “Oh! I - the air’s dry, I get - nosebleeds,” he muttered, covering his nose with a tissue. “Gotta - go.” He didn’t turn back to John as he fled to the bathroom, Thermos clutched in his free hand. He watched his reflection in the bathroom mirror snicker loudly at him.

“‘S not funny,” Gary hissed, cleaning his nose in the sink. “Why - don’t _ever_ start a nosebleed on me again.”

_**Had to get you out of there, you’re welcome.** _

“Actually, no,” Gary told the demon, wiping the blood off adn to sign the dirty tissue in the trash can. “I’m going.”

**_No, you’re NOT!_ **

“I control my body, you don’t, remember? We share it. So you’re going to tag along and be quiet, or you can leave and then you don’t have to deal with it.”

_**I don’t need to watch you and Constantine reenact what goes on inside of your head when you’re trying to get o-** _

“Oh my god, shut up, and that - no, that’s not happening, it’s just dinner.”

A scoff came from inside Gary’s ear. _**Sure.**_

“That’s all it’s going to be. Just dinner as friends.”

_**Yeah, that’s what Constantine wants.** _

“Good, we’re on the same page.”

 _**Don’t be stupid, you think Constantine wants ANYTHING like what you want?**_ Jake hissed. _ **All Constantine wants is a bed to crash in and a warm body to lose himself in. He doesn’t care about you! He KNOWS how you feel about him and he treats you like everyone else does! He treats you like dirt!** _

Gary’s fist went right through the bathroom mirror, shattering his reflection into a hundred shards that filled the sink. Gary’s breathing was ragged, he was gasping out in shock and horror, his nails scraping into the shitty porcelain basin and his molars grinding against each other.

 _ **See how good it feels to get angry?**_ Jake laughed. _**Come on, let’s go out, the two of us, have some real fun.**_

Gary let out one more shuddery breath, wiping sweat off of his forehead. “No,” he whispered. “No. No, we’re not doing that. I’m going out tonight, because I want to.”

**_So you can fuck around with Constantine again so he can leave you before you wake up tomorrow? Like the last time? Like the_ other _last time after you said there wouldn’t be another time, you mean it this time, John?_ **

“Yeah,” Gary says, hoarse and voice thick, pulling a piece of glass out of his thumb.

_**Are you serious? Are you listening to me?** _

“Shut up, you’re a liar, a demon, remember? I don't believe you.”

_**Do you really think I’m lying to you?** _

Gary doesn’t answer him. Instead, he picks every shard out of the sink and doesn’t say another word.

 

 

Mona looked up at the sound of a book dropping to the floor of Nora’s cell, and saw the woman in question with her eyes wider than saucers.

“Nora?” she asked hesitantly, as Nora’s wide eyes drifted up to the ceiling she stretched her fingers out. “What - what’s wrong?”

Nora dragged her eyes down from the ceiling to meet Mona’s, her voice quiet but insistent: “Something’s wrong.”

“What? What’s wrong, are you sick or something? Do you want some chicken soup, tea, Hallmark movies, some choc-”

“No, Mona,” Nora stressed through her teeth, her eyes drifting back up as she pointed up to the air above both of their heads. “Something’s _here.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> 
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